Disability aside, life is a pain in the ass. There is no magic answer and I won’t be able to show you how to solve the puzzle. Life is a mixture of choices & experiences that design what we call “self.” Anything tangible (ie., housing, healthcare, transportation and everthing in between) I can help with but only you can design you. I can lead you to the door but you have to walk through it, alone.
Eighteen seems to be a magic number in our society when a child becomes an adult. He/she is expected to “fly the coop” and become self-sufficient. This is a daunting concept for anyone but when there are extra obstacles and challenges life can seem downright impossible. I had a head start, my parents gave me the strength to overcome (the stubborn bitch came later). My mom grew up in a time when women were expected to stay barefoot & pregnant, to be seen but never heard. She showed me by example that glass ceilings were meant to be broken. My dad showed me strength in knowledge, to be a leader not a follower.
Fighting discrimination, stereotyping, labeling has been an ongoing battle a. I don’t pay much attention to it anymore so I’m usually caught off
guard. I know who I am. It hurts to be labeled. No one can tell you who you are. I began using a wheelchair to aid with my mobility when I was
19. Scorn turned to pity overnight. I hadn’t changed, the label had. Coming to terms with an invisible,societal ideology is still a work in progress. I don’t know what it means to”look” disabled.
My favorite analogy comes from a book I read years ago. I can remember going to the circus when I was young. The trapeze act was always my favorite which is probably why it stuck. The act revolves around “death-defying feats” performed without a net (sounds like life). One person jumps gracefully off a platform swinging back & forth. What if the act ended there, safe and comfortable? Pretty boring but no one got hurt. Our fear does not lie in the strength and ability of the person waiting to catch the other after they let go & spin in mid air. Our fear is letting go. Apply this to life. We’re all afraid to let go at some point. Afraid we’ll let go too early or too late, ability or disability.
A couple of weeks ago, I went out with a friend of mine & decided to have my nails done. As we were leaving, a woman asked me how long ago had I been in anaccident. Accident??? I was completely confused. My friend interpreted that she meant my heelchair. I quickly determine ignorance or stupidity. Ignorance will get you an explanation. Stupidity will get you anass-chewing & I can tell the difference. I went with the latter & explained. She then replied, “but you look so healthy.” Now THAT was stupid! How does one “look” sick? I clamped my mouth shut & ran out the door, not wanting to make a scene but my friend heard it all the way home!
Eighteen seems to be a magic number in our society when a child becomes an adult. He/she is expected to “fly the coop” and become self-sufficient. This is a daunting concept for anyone but when there are extra obstacles and challenges life can seem downright impossible. I had a head start, my parents gave me the strength to overcome (the stubborn bitch came later). My mom grew up in a time when women were expected to stay barefoot & pregnant, to be seen but never heard. She showed me by example that glass ceilings were meant to be broken. My dad showed me strength in knowledge, to be a leader not a follower.
Fighting discrimination, stereotyping, labeling has been an ongoing battle a. I don’t pay much attention to it anymore so I’m usually caught off
guard. I know who I am. It hurts to be labeled. No one can tell you who you are. I began using a wheelchair to aid with my mobility when I was
19. Scorn turned to pity overnight. I hadn’t changed, the label had. Coming to terms with an invisible,societal ideology is still a work in progress. I don’t know what it means to”look” disabled.
My favorite analogy comes from a book I read years ago. I can remember going to the circus when I was young. The trapeze act was always my favorite which is probably why it stuck. The act revolves around “death-defying feats” performed without a net (sounds like life). One person jumps gracefully off a platform swinging back & forth. What if the act ended there, safe and comfortable? Pretty boring but no one got hurt. Our fear does not lie in the strength and ability of the person waiting to catch the other after they let go & spin in mid air. Our fear is letting go. Apply this to life. We’re all afraid to let go at some point. Afraid we’ll let go too early or too late, ability or disability.
A couple of weeks ago, I went out with a friend of mine & decided to have my nails done. As we were leaving, a woman asked me how long ago had I been in anaccident. Accident??? I was completely confused. My friend interpreted that she meant my heelchair. I quickly determine ignorance or stupidity. Ignorance will get you an explanation. Stupidity will get you anass-chewing & I can tell the difference. I went with the latter & explained. She then replied, “but you look so healthy.” Now THAT was stupid! How does one “look” sick? I clamped my mouth shut & ran out the door, not wanting to make a scene but my friend heard it all the way home!
